Ok, seriously, I was doing some "googling" today in another futile attempt to find ANY type of information about being a SIBLING of a type 1 diabetic. If you ARE the diabetic, you could get LOST in websites and blogs with stories and tips and information its probably overload. But, I want information about being a SIBLING, how to cope, and the lingering effects of growing up in a diabetic household.
Then something from the JDRF website popped up. Just a simple little thing, but it mattered to me. It was a Q & A posting. Here was the "question":
Q: My little sister was diagnosed in December, and now she's getting all the attention, and I'm really jealous. I'm 13 and really know better than that, and I know I need to be more mature, but I can't help it. HELP ME PLEASE!!!
Honestly, I didn't find the response all that helpful or relevant. It was certainly "intellectually" correct, but not emotionally helpful. What WAS helpful was seeing the question itself. BECAUSE THAT IS EXACTLY SOMETHING I WOULD HAVE WRITTEN WHEN I WAS 13!!! I understand what this kid is saying about knowing that they NEED to be more mature. Man, the guilt I have carried around my adult life for NOT being more mature is immense. YET, this kid is 13. That's too young to know how to be "mature" like that. I wish as kids we knew that and could let ourselves off the hook instead of feeling guilty about it. Its a lot of pressure. AND, I understand this person's jealousy. I don't feel jealous today, but that jealousy ruled my childhood.
Anyway....just interesting when I find things I can relate to.
It's funny to see that the guilt diabetes dishes out is not just to the person with the disease but so many others too! I know my mom felt guilty because she felt like it must have come from her side of the family and my dad felt the same way.
ReplyDeleteIt's totally ironic (like you mentioned before) that you would be jealous of something that your sister wishes she didn't have and you wish too! Our feelings are so fragile in that way.
The thing is that the jealousy you had as a child was understandable. You needed attention just as much as your sister. All kids need it. Don't ever feel like it is wrong to express how you feel or how you felt. I totally get it and would feel the same way.
I hate diabetes so much and it makes me so mad that you have had to carry around this guilt for so long. I hope you can escape it because you did nothing wrong. blame it all on diabetes.
I have a 16 yr old newly diagnosed and a 13. Yr old who is faking to be sick and shouts at me when I call his bluff and says that I don't care about him. I do and it is tearing apart my already torn up heart......
ReplyDeleteKSZRAMKA111,
ReplyDeleteThank you for reading and for your comment. It really can be such a struggle as the parent to handle it all. As the "T1 Sibling" I can say that I also tried to be heard, tried to get attention. I think we siblings just need to be validated, and yet I can imagine how hard that is as an overloaded parent! Also, there could be some guilt that your non T1 child is feeling at not being the one diagnosed?
If you ever want to talk, you are welcome to email me at kellybrynne@aol.com.
Thank you for offering.....I am waiting in front of the doctors office to get him checked out.....trying to do the right thing.....I didn't take my Son W/T 1 serious at first.....don't want to make the same mistakes w/this one......but I think he is faking it....so hard to know what is the real issue.
ReplyDelete