Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Why Me....

You know what's weird??  I have never allowed myself to ask that question.  But, I feel like its sort of been a thought in the back of my mind.  Unspoken....Unallowed.  I am SURE that my sister has had this thought SO many times in her life (or maybe not??), but I have never felt like its something I deserved to ask myself.  Because i am NOT the diabetic.  But, still....Why Me?  Why did MY family have to be affected by this disease??  Why did MY sister have to have type 1??  I wonder what could have been, what life would have been like.

Would my sister and I have had a different relationship?  Would my parents have stayed married??  Would my brother have felt less insecure??

Well, I just wonder.  I am angry I have to wonder.  I hate that there is this "thing" that tore everything apart and remains.....


  1. Hi! I found your blog today and I think it is so awesome that you are writing about your experiences.

    I have a 4 year old son who was diagnosed with T1 last August and a 7 1/2 (going on 13!) year old daughter. I have been meaning to blog about this topic because my daughter is have a very hard time with jealousy over the attention my son gets because of his diabetes. I am very cognizant of that fact, and I really do try to do what I can but I would love your ideas on what I can do to help my daughter....especially because T1D is not going to go away and it's going to be a part of her life in some way. My son has had a few other health issues since he was born, so in a way I figured she wouldn't be so affected by it because he's always had a lot of extra attention, but it is really becoming apparent now that she has some big feelings about this. Just last week she says to me, "Mom, I feel like Adam is the main character in our family." And I totally get that.

    Anyway, sorry to write a novel, but just wanted to thank you for having this blog! Siblings are the unsung heroes in the diabetic family. :)

  2. Stephanie..

    First of all, THANK YOU so much for your post. Its validating to know that there are others out there who can "relate"!!

    It sounds like your daughter is very lucky that you are at least aware of how this might affect her as well as your son. Its amazing how many aspects of my life growing up with a T1sibling has affected without my really knowing or understanding. I think if I had been able to voice it earlier, talk about it and through it as a child, I would have been better off. The amount of guilt a sibling carries around can be overwhelming and hard to deal with.

    I am certainly no expert on how to "best" handle this, but if I think about what could have helped me, this is what I would have wanted. I needed a peer group of other siblings of "chronic illnesses" to identify with. I needed to know that T1 wasn't the only thing our family stood for. I needed to be told that my feelings of anger and jealousy were validated and reasonable, not "bad".

    Let me think about this some more. Because I agree, T1 i a big part of who I am, and I am only the sibling!!!

    Thanks for being such a good mom to search for answers!!!


  3. I just found your blog today (what is it, 2 months since you posted this?). I've got to talk to my brother about this topic. My parents were, at least to my face, very laid back about my diabetes. I'm curious to see what he remembers or what still sticks with him.

  4. Amy,

    Thanks for reading! I would be very interested in what he remembers too! At the very least, I hope this brings up some interesting conversation!